The shoebox to her heart
by mymortalromances
Summary: Angel stumbles upon a shoebox under Max's bed full of letters she wrote to Fang. Post FANG. T just in case. I guess it's angst-ish and romance-y
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum ride... I know it's so sad...**_

The shoebox of her heart

Angel ran into Max's room to find a place to hide. Being nine didn't stop her love for hide and seek, and everyone else loves it too. She went to hide under Max's bed but it was blocked by a shoebox.

Angel tried to resist the urge to open it but was over powered. She lifted the lid to see the box full of folders and in the folders were notepaper. She pulled one out and skimmed through the first sheet. The date at the top showed it to be a couple of weeks after Fang left.

F_ang,_

_Why did you leave? The reasons you said weren't enough to leave your family, friends, _me_. You didn't even tell me! You wrote it down in a freaking letter and expected me to understand? Well guess what? I don't understand. You told me you would never leave again. Then where are you? Why can't you tell me you stupid jerk? I feel like I can't breathe anymore, like you took that ability away from me. Do you want to know what's worse than that? I don't hate you. I know I should and sometimes I think I do but when I look at the pictures ready to tear you out, I can't. After everything you did I still love you and I want to be with you, but I also don't. You know what I mean? I'm not the only one that's affected, the others are too. Nudge hasn't talked to anyone since you left. No one. She just sits and reads the magazines, but not the ones you gave her. She won't touch them; she says it hurts too much. Iggy hasn't cooked either, Dylan has to do it all but I won't say thank you, none of us will. Gazzy hasn't 'let one rip' in weeks, I don't know where he's keeping it but it doesn't come out. Angel hates this most though. She thinks his is her fault that if she hadn't told you all those things that you would still be here._

_I miss you so much, Fang, we all do. Come back, Fang. Please?_

_Love always, Max_

A single tear rolled down Angel's face. This was the pain that Max has been feeling all this time and she hadn't told her. Or anyone else. She flipped over the next page and started to read:

_Fang,_

_It's been a month now but you haven't come back. If you love me like you say you do, or did, then why haven't you come for me? Saved me from here, from myself. Everyone's starting to get better, or at least pretending to, but no one has forgotten you. And nothing will ever be the same. I swear if you come back now, I won't be mad. Okay, maybe a bit but I want you back. I want you back in my arms, holding me. I need someone to tell but I can't drop this on them. I have to stay strong._

_I miss you much more than before and Love you so, Max._

_**Hey so this is my little idea (one of them) hat I got after reading FANG... I cried in that book so hard. So this was my idea... good? Bad? I don't know if people have done this before but I don't mean to copy anyone.**_

_**So should I continue this or leave it? Tell me in a review!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: So I don't know if anyone actually reads these but I normally come up with random ones but I'm tired so I'll just say that the characters and I guess some things that happen belong to the insanely awesome(well until he does something like break up my favourite couple!) James Patterson!**_

_**Without further ado, I present, chapter 2**_

Angel flipped through the pages reading each letter twice to make sure she found all the emotions in it. After three pages on caught her eye.

_Fang,_

_Dylan tried to kiss me today! I said no to him and tried pushed him away but he wouldn't listen. He kept his lips against mine as I sat there. Mum saw the whole thing from the window; she hasn't let me out of her sight. She kicked Dylan out saying that he had no right to take advantage of me like that. She's right, he didn't._

_I think this is the first day I haven't cried over you. Does that mean I'm getting better? Or is it my emotions locking themselves away? Probably the later._

_I really miss the prickle on the back of my neck when you silently appear, or the sarcastic remarks. Will I get to hear them again? Please say yes. Or else I might die. More than just on the inside._

_You know I'll never lose faith in you right? I believe one day you'll come back, even if it's not for me. You can't stay away long, past events prove that. Well, that's what Iggy says anyway. I guess I believe him but it seems different this time._

_I know I say this every letter but please come back, if not for me then for the younger kids, they miss you heaps._

_Love forever and Always, Max._

Angel turned the page but noticed something different about it, it wasn't Max's handwriting. It was Fang's.

_Max,_

_I'm so, so sorry that I haven't sent you anything since I left but I knew this was hard on you. I'm sending this to let you know that I'm alive, and I haven't run into too much trouble. I'm a bit paranoid about fly by myself but I remember why I'm doing this, why I left you and I get a surge and I can go on. Even when I feel like I'm going to die without you._

_You have to understand that I left for you, for _us. _I need to give you some room so you can help the flock and save the world without any distractions. What I'm doing might mean that you don't have to save it; I might be able to do it for you._

_But I'm going to need some help. I sent out a request for mutant kids to contact me and I've gotten a few back and I've asked them to meet me. I hope this turns out alright and your not to upset with me._

_Love and miss you, Fang._

More tears fell from Angel's eyes. She remembered the day Max had gotten this letter, she had cried so much but she didn't tell anyone why. Angel understood now, exactly what Max had been, and was, going through.

_Hey people of earth, this is the new chapter... has it been a week? Or has it been two? I can't remember (It is (after all) 4 in the morning) but anyway I'll try to update every week or two!_

_Thanks to my awesome reviewers and people who have inspired me!_

_Now I message people who send me reviews but some people don't have accounts so I'll answer any questions from them here or send a little shout out here:_

_To musicnote: I have and thanks for reviewing _;P!

'til next time...


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello peoples of fanfiction. I has new chapter for youse.**

**Sorry about my bad English there ^^ I was bored... On with the chapter!**

_Fang,_

_I finally figured it out, why you haven't come back I mean. You don't like me being the one with the power, that's it! Isn't it? If not then you need to tell me why. And by the way, thanks for the letter, NOT! It only reminded me how much I miss you. I need you now more than ever. You see, I'm alone at the moment, I told Iggy to take the flock for a week to wherever they wanted. They haven't been out since you left. But now I'm alone at mum's house. Ella's at school and mum's at work._

_I HATE THIS, FANG! I want you to come and see me, even if it's only to pat you down for injuries, give you a hug and send you on your way again. I'm not angry about you leaving anymore (okay a lie), I just, I just want you to know I'm always here, forever and always, and I will never, ever refuse to help you. I'm only a letter away._

_Love (you know how much), Max._

_Fang,_

_Sometimes I wonder if you know exactly what I'm writing._

_I was just sitting there being all gloomy when the doorbell rang. Obviously I was confused, everyone had keys, unless it was Dylan, but he wouldn't dare show his face here again. I took my merry old time getting to the door, though. When I finally got there I opened the door to be rewarded by the sound of your voice. "Hey, Max," You said. "Guess who?"_

_The moment I saw you all my anger flooded away and turned into happiness. I jumped into your arms and took in your scent: Your smell is so hard to describe, but you smelt like Fang. You buried your face in my hair and I cried into your shirt. "Why are you crying?" You had asked._

"_I thought you had forgotten me," I explained. You pulled away from my embrace but kept your strong, callused hands on my shoulders._

_You shook you head. "I would never forget you, Sweetie, not now, not ever."_

_You came in and sat with me, my head on your lap, staring at you, for goodness knows how long. I had been pulled out of my trance by the car pulling up into the driveway. I had looked at you and saw you tense. It was that moment I knew I was going to have to say goodbye again, that you weren't staying. The tears welled in my eyes once again and I had gripped your shirt, my sign of telling you not to leave. You shook your head, 'I can't' it said. You picked my head up and place it on the lounge, still warm from you sitting there so long._

"_7,214 days, Max, until I meet you again, with the hawks," You had said. Before you took off you walked back over to where I was lying and place a slow kiss on my lips. While you did, I place the key to my window in your hand._

"_Come whenever, I can't wait that long," I told you before burying my head in the couch cushion, I couldn't handle seeing you leave, not again._

_Mum walked in not long after that and asked what happened. I smiled and shook my head before returning to my room to write to you._

_This has been the best day in the last three months, and it's all thanks to you._

_Isn't it obvious I love you? Max._

Angel dropped the folder to the floor. Max had seen Fang, gotten to hug him again, and she deserved it. What she didn't deserve was him leaving, again.

**Hey guys so I write this quickly because I got M-A-J-O-R inspiration! I hadn't started until today on purpose so I could concentrate on it and not forget what I was going to write. Stupid, I know, but it's how I roll.**

**Notes to non-****members (and also to a PM disabled reader) readers:**

**MAXIMUM RID READER: I'm glad you do!**

**Emilie12: Yeah I know I didn't like that either but you should still read the rest of them! They keep getting more and Lissa isn't in it after that tiny bit of schools out forever. Oh sorry! I'm glad my writing was strong enough to move you like that though! And thanks!**

**Also I have 10 reviews! YAY! I love you guys! So I was thinking that, maybe I should get a beta reader, I have one on my Mortal instruments one (I'm raining on your parade... she had some awesome stories so check them out!) so if anyone's interested then please PM me or tell me in a review (I would prefer if you have a beta profile up so I can check it out.**

**TA!**


	4. Chapter 4

_Fang,_

_7,200 days until I get to see you again. I've got it written on a calendar now, I'll never lose track of the days. Since your visit it's been exactly two weeks and I've only cried once, and that was when you first left. Mum thinks I've shut down but it's the exact opposite. It's like seeing you rebooted my systems and only a few things are broken, my heart is still one of them though._

_I didn't tell the others about your visit, I decided it would be our little secret, for only us to know about._

_I went out the other day, for a flight with Iggy while the others were asleep. I was a bit rusty from not using my wings in so long but in no time I was doing tricks like I always have. I guess it's like that saying: it's like riding a bike, you never forget._

_You have to come back soon though, Angel told me I'm spending more and more time in my room each day and she's scared. Is there any chance you send her a letter to tell her, she needs you too, Fang, you've always been there to comfort her, like a big brother, Ig's not good at that._

_Please come see me soon?_

_Did I forget to say I love you? Max._

"Angel what are you doing in my room," Max said from the doorway.

"Um noting?" Angel responded but it came out as a question. Max sighed and walked in.

"You found my letters didn't you?" Max asked and Angel nodded. "What one are you up to?"

"The one about three and a half months after he left. You said about Fang being like a big brother. He sent me that letter because you asked him to. Didn't he?"

Max sighed and walked over to Angel. She picked Angel up and put her on her lap and opened three pages forward and began to read aloud.

_Max,_

_Did Angel get my letter? I haven't gotten one back from her but that doesn't mean anything. I bet she hates me, I would hate me too if I had left me alone... Does that make sense? _

_I'm missing you so much, Sweets, but I can't come see you at the moment. The gang is getting suspicious of me when I write these letters, Kate tried to read my one to Angel, she kind of succeeded, but they don't know about these. Our little secret._

_Tell everyone I love them for me won't you Sweets?_

_No matter how long or far we are apart I will never stop loving you, Fang._

"He loves you so much," Angel told Max and she nodded. "Why didn't you send these letters?"

"I sent a few," She explained. "But I didn't want to get to attached to him. What if he decided he didn't love me anymore? Then I would still be deeply in love with a guy who didn't love me back."

"Fang could never stop loving you, Max," Angel told her and hugged her tight.

_**Hey, it's been two days since my last update, aren't you guys lucky?**_

_**Shout **__**out thing:**_

_**Lisalou: I have a BlogSpot account. It's **__**mymortalromances (.) blogspot (.)com**__** As for my email address, I love talking to my readers so I'll give it to you. It's on my profile (down the very bottom near my story list. Thanks and sorry it was two days (when I finished it...I forgot to post it before)**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey guys, I know it's been a while, like a long while but I've been busy lately. I've got two very important pieces of information. 1) This will be the last chapter. Sorry guys but I need to end it here. It was only ever meant to be a small story to help keep my mind fresh until I started a new Maximum Ride story, which I have, Maximum Awkwardness, check it out if you haven't already. 2) This chapter is written differently. It starts as usual, with Max and Angel and then changes. It then moves to max reading the letter and is in italics while her remembering is in normal text. Anyway I'll let you guys read.**_

"Angel, do you think Fang will ever come back?" Max asked the younger girl as they sat looking thought the book.

"Of course I do," Angel responded immediately. "Do you?"

"I guess so. He told me he would be coming back soon and I believe him, it's just... he says he's always there for me but he's only visited me a hand full of time," Max answered. "Well, look at the time, we better get you off to bed.

Angel whined but stood up obediently and headed to her room to get changed. Max went around and said good night to the flock, finishing with Angel.

"He'll come back when he can, Max," Angel told Max.

"I know," Max responded and with a kiss she headed off to bed herself.

*** First person, Max***

_Fang,_

_ I loved our time together even though it was scarce._

I lay awake for hours thinking of Fang. Of the time we've spent together since he left. The first visit was the longest, we just lay there looking at each other until mum came home. The kiss placed gently on my lips. I savoured it for three months until our next meeting two months later.

The next time was only a five minute check in at the early of the morning. Fang had told his gang he needed some fresh air and he'd be back soon. I had cried for hours after he left.

The next time that comes to mind was only eight months ago. Fang hadn't visited me in almost a year and I was furious. He jumped through my bed room window just after I sent the others to bed. "What are you doing here," I spat.

"I came to see you," He had answered. I had yelled, well, whisper-yelled anyway, for a good hour before I finally broke down and he held me tight.

_You came into my room at exactly 2:56 am and stood and watched me as I 'slept'._

I was still thinking of Fang as the devil himself climbed through my window. I couldn't believe he was back so soon, he'd only left a week ago. So then why was he here?

_I was really awake the whole time but I was scared you would fly away. Stupid, I know, but I needed you to be with me. It's like your presence is my drug, I need it to live._

Before Fang could see me I whipped around to face the other way and closed my eyes and tried to slow my breathing so I passed for sleeping. I heard Fang's footsteps approach the bed and his knees crack as he squatted down beside me, something I relate to Fang because he's the only one that does it. I felt his hand, warm and gently whisk through my hair. That one gesture sent shivers up my spine.

_After a few minutes I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted you too much, I _needed _you too much._

I rolled over and opened my eyes to get a good look at him, scared the reason Fang had come back so early way that something had happened, that he was hurt. But he wasn't, he was just... tense, something not strange for him.

_You were so tense, like you knew something I didn't but I wouldn't press you for answers for my fear it would push you away. That would be the last thing I needed._

"Hey, mister. Long time, no see," I whispered. A small smile played along his lips as he knelt into a more comfortable position.

"Sorry, I needed to organise some stuff before I saw you next," Fang responded as he scraped a kiss across my lips. It was a simple gesture he did often but it didn't stop my nerves from being set on fire. "Not to mention Kate was watching my every move." I let out a small laugh and sat up.

"Well I'm glad your back," I said and kissed him.

Our kisses are always special, filled with love and other emotions but this one was more fierce, hungry and another emotion they had never had before. Lust. Fang's tongue slid against the rim of my teeth, asking for entry and I paused a moment. If I let him in, let him do something like this for the first time, let him really kiss me, will I be able to handle it when he's gone? I thought for a moment, about how hard it is when he's gone, but if I can't enjoy it while he's here then I'll have to wait another eighteen years, and I can't do that.

I opened my mouth wider, giving him permission and his tongue explores my mouth, eager to map the uncharted territory. Before I knew what I was doing, mine was going the same and our tongues danced to the same rhythm. Fang's lips left mine all too soon. It travelled down my neck, planting tiny kisses in their wake. He lay me down gently down on my back and began to suck on my pulse point. Despite enjoying being this close to Fang I could help wondering when this became too much. After a couple of seconds I decided.

_I pushed you away and looked you right in the eye and asked why now, what happened next was mind blowing._

"Why not now? I love you, Max," Fang responded. I looked at him, trying to find what he meant but I came up empty handed.

"You know I'll regret this," I whispered and looked away.

_You tilted my chin up and spun it to face you. You asked why and I practically yelled the answer._

"Because you're going to leave again," I hissed. "You're leaving me alone and I have to pretend I'm not seeing you every other week. Do you know how sad they are when they check the mail and there is no letter from you. They kept their hopes up for two years, TWO YEARS, Fang! That's a life time for an seven year old!"

"I get it, Max!" He snapped back. "I get how hard it has been for you, I get that I've sent you and the flock through hell and back but I'm here for you now. That should be what counts most."

Rage burned through me at his words. "And how long are you here for me exactly? The next fifteen minute? Half an hour? Then what? You'll see me next Friday? That is not a healthy relationship, Fang. I don't know how much longer I can do this," I explained.

He took my hand and kissed my knuckles one by one. "You don't have to do it anymore," He told me in between kisses and my heart began to beat faster with a deep anger I've never felt before.

"What? So you were going to take my virginity and then dump me?" I asked. "They have a word for people like you, you-"

"That's not what I meant at all! Would you shut up and listen for five freaking seconds of your life!" He yelled before realising his mistake and calming down a bit. "I mean, I'm not leaving again, I'm here to stay."

My heart stopped for a second before picking up louder and stronger. "You're-you're staying?" I queried.

Fang nodded his head.

_The news that I could keep you forever was the best I'd ever had._

The tears began to well in my eyes and I didn't try to stop them. I threw my arms around him and his whipped around my middle, pulling me closer.

_You told me who much you needed me._

"I love you, Max. I can't stand to be away from you any longer," He whispered in my ear.

"The feeling's mutual," I answered before a certain nine year old invaded my head. It never ceases to annoy me.

_Angel told me that Iggy was coming so I shoved you out the window and sat back down on the bed._

Iggy walked into my room and stood in the doorway. "Hey, Max, you okay?" He asked and I smiled.

"Better than I have in a long time."

_I didn't tell Iggy that you had gotten back but said I needed a family meeting in my room in five. Before Iggy returned with the flock I told my plan._

A few minutes after Iggy came back with everyone. "This better be good, Max, I need to go to work tomorrow," Mum yawned and I felt a pang of guilt because I had kept her awake so many nights before this.

"Oh, it is!" I exclaimed as I opened my window. Everyone looked out the window at the night sky with a single cloud hovering in the sky.

"That's a very pretty cloud, Max," Ella said dryly. Angel began to laugh as she discovered the plan and I shot her a look that said if she told anyone the boggy monster would come and strangle her in her sleep.

"What are we all looking at?" Fang asked from behind. Everyone turned to face him and Angel, Nudge, Ella and Gazzy all hugged him.

_Everyone was soooo happy to see you. It was turning out well until..._

"You dick head!" Iggy yelled and launched himself at Fang. He tackled him to the ground and punched him in the face. The kids all screamed and stepped away, I looked over at mum for help.

"Give me a second." She cleared her throat. "Children, of to bed now!" She yelled. Everyone except Fang, Iggy and myself left the room. By this time the boys had rolled across the room, each getting the other as good as they were themselves. Iggy was on top, about to send a well aimed blow to Fang's nose when mum pulled him off and pushed him against my bedroom wall to calm him down.

Fang recovered and was about to lunge at mum and Iggy when I stopped him. "Fang," I warned as he tried to push through. "Fang, Iggy's your friend, your brother. You don't want to hurt him."

_You began to calm down a bit after that as I examined your face. Mum took Iggy down stairs to set his nose and I made you sit on the bed while I checked on you._

"You're such an idiot," I told Fang. "You should have let him land the blow and he would have been fine." I tenderly touched under his eye, causing him to wince. "I'm going to go get an ice pack. Don't start a fight with anyone else while I'm gone."

I hopped down the stairs to the kitchen to get some ice. From behind the door I could hear mum and Iggy talking about Fang. "Iggy, I know you're annoyed with Fang but-" Mum began but was cut off by Iggy.

"No, I was annoyed when Gazzy stunk out our room."

"Well he does have a reason," Mum excused.

"I was annoyed when Max beat me at cod," he continued.

"Honey, you're blind, of course she did."

"I was annoyed when Angel read my mind when I was thinking about how hot Ella would... look the point is I'm not annoyed with Fang, I am peed off!" He yelled before adding. "Max is like my big sister and he broke her heart into a million little pieces, don't you think I have the right to be mad?"

"That's not what I'm saying," Mum explained. "What I'm saying is Max just got Fang back and we can't ruin it for her. And I could tell by the look in Fang's eyes when he set eyes on her. She's his world, Iggy. Can you really take that away from him?"

"You're right, Dr M," Iggy whispered.

"I know," She cooed before coming out the door and spotting me. "Honey, grab onto him and don't let go. Okay, baby girl?"

"Okay, mum. Love you," I answered.

"Love you too, sweetie."

_I talked to Iggy and he agreed to give you a second chance as long as I don't keep secrets from him anymore. I agreed and headed up to you again._

"Hey," I said as I entered the room. "What are you looking at?"

Fang turned around to face me, one eye nearly swollen shut, and I noticed the folder of letters. _Note to self: find a better hiding spots._

"You're reading my letters?" I asked slightly hurt at the invasion of privacy.

"Well considering they're all addressed to me..." Fang trailed off I looked away and he came towards me. Shutting and throwing my folder on the bed he came towards me. "So what do you want to do know?"

"Mmm, I think I have some ideas," I smiled. Fang wrapped his arms around my waist but winced. I drew back and looked at him. "But none of those things will be happening until you're well and rested.

_You wouldn't leave me so we lay in my bed and I curled into you and for a moment, it was like you never left._

_Today, you were still here when I woke up, gazing at me intently._

"Hi," I mumbled. "You stayed."

"Well I promised I would. Face it, Max; you're stuck with me now."

"I wouldn't dream of it," I whispered.

_This'll be my last letter to you because, well, I can tell you now._

"I'll love you forever, Max," I read out loud. I looked up at the faces of my teenage girl.

"So you and dad really went through that?" She asked and I nodded. "Wow, mum, I can't believe it!"

It's been almost nineteen years since Fang came back. We moved out of mum's house with Angel and Gazzy (the two kids wanted to stay with us), got married, sent the two siblings off to college and had two beautiful children (Seriah and Jeremy) that are growing up way too fast.

"Me neither, sometimes it seems so unbelievable. So you see, honey, no matter what happens you have to know that I've been through it all too and you can talk to me about all this stuff."

"Thanks mum," She responded, she kissed me on the cheek and left me alone in the lounge room.

I sighed, closed and sunk further into the couch. I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders gently massaging them, the soft touch of calloused hands could only belong to one person. "Hey, Fang," I said with a smile.

"Hi, beautiful. How are you doing," He whispered in my ear the same way he did ever since I can remember.

"Good, I finally got through to Seriah that we've been through it all too," I explained.

"How'd you do it?" He asked.

"I showed her the letters. You know the ones I wrote when you were gone?"

Fang jumped over the lounge and pulled me close when he saw my eyes shadow. "It's okay, honey, I'm here to stay now, forever."

"And always," I finished.

_**So in case you guys haven't guessed forever and always is kind of my FAX slogan. I've got two new one-shot that I'm writing called Forever and Always and Couples Counselling. I think CC will be out first but it's kind of different to anything else I've written (Please don't hold it against me, I wrote it at four in the morning). So here's a quick preview. Please read and tell me what you think in a review.**_

**Couple's**__**counselling**

**Warning: OOC-ness occurs in this story.**

I let out a puff of air as I glare at the shrink. I hated being here and the worse part? He wasn't MY shrink he's OUR shrink.

I looked over at Fang to see that he was conveniently looking in the opposite direction. Smart move, Bucko. It was his fault we were here, he told mum that we needed and the next thing I know I'm sitting in this office and it is hell!

"So tell me, Miss Ride, this is your boyfriend, yes?" Our counsellor dude asked in a nasally voice.

"Ex," I clarified. "He's my Ex-boyfriend and I'd prefer if he stayed that way thank you very much."

"That's not what you said in bed last night," Fang mumbled.

_**And I'm going to stop right there. So what do you think, if you like it put me on author alert and it will be up sometime in the next two or so weeks. Also check out my latest fic called Maximum Awkwardness, there's FAX, EGGY, NUZZY and Angel/OC, it will be updated every day or two.**_

_**So *sniff* bye *wave*. And thanks to anyone who waited for this last chapter, it means a lot!**_


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